Today marks the month long mark since you've called, aside from the amazing wonderful text message you sent me on my birthday. I miss you. It's becoming increasingly more difficult to be without you. It's such a weird feeling. Like there's always a hole in me that can't be filled. Like I can't be myself. Not until I hear your voice. Anything that makes me feel a little happy, makes me feel a little guilty. Like that little drunk letter I wrote you. I didn't even have too much fun, everything makes me miss you!
Today was a very interesting day. I went to work at Snooze. At around 10:30, two homeless guys came in. They aren't like the crazy old homeless guys, they were the drug addict ones. They wouldn't leave me alone, so they put in their name on the wait list (something I can't deny them to do regrettably). One of them walked back to use the bathroom, so I followed him slowly looking for Scott (manager) to tell him that there were some homeless people cheating the system. He's really good at getting rid of them. When I was walking back, I saw the tall African American man near my host stand and when I started walking back up, he sorta bolted. It didn't even occur to me to check for my phone. Like two hours later, I was looking for it, and it was gone! It's the only thing I could think of. Sometimes Scott likes to joke with us. Take our things, mess with us like an older brother. I asked him incessantly, until he finally cracked and said he really didn't do anything. I just can't believe it. He didn't take the four dollars I had sitting there, but he took my phone? I turned the service off, but he can still look at my pictures and messages. It's so unsettling. You know what kind of pictures I have on there. Not ones I'd want a homeless man to see. It's disgusting, and feels so violating. I wish you were home so you could be my big tough husband and make me feel safer. I see him somewhat often around the area, so if it doesn't turn up anywhere at Snooze, which I don't think it will, I'll be sure to give him a swift kick in the balls and call the police and report him. I'm sad, I lost all my numbers. It was like a tag-along phone-book of my life. The pictures is what I'm most upset about, the ones of me, but especially the ones of you. I won't have anymore pictures of you that you took especially for me. Thinking of me. Looking into your camera and thinking it's me. I don't have that anymore. I just wanna see you your face everywhere I am, and now I can't. Because my replacement phone won't be have all those on there. I really wanna talk to you! I don't want to make any major phone decisions without you here.
I'm thinking about going over to AT&T. They have better phone deals and will give me more discounts. Verizon was being so rude to me today that I cried in the store. It was really difficult. I wanted to scream. To freak out. I can't get discounts because you aren't the primary liability person on the account. Sorry, my husband is in Afghanistan. He can't set up a phone account, he can't even call me. There suggestion, well it's a pretty simple phone call. Can't you just have him do it when he calls? Oh yeah, it's so easy. Like the sat phone will make it that long. I wish I could ask you, would you mind being on AT&T? Or would you rather be on the same network as your parents? I'm just so mad at them. There should be a way around it. Maybe I can call and pretend to be you? Sounds like it's worth a try! I wish you were here to help me. I need to make sure that what I do is okay with you! Should I order you the same phone, and put it on hold? You can keep you number so that should be fine. I'm so conflicted, and it's over something that's not really a big deal. I feel ten times stranger about all the other things going on in my brain. So many worries and thoughts. I need my husband! I feel like such a baby.
All I do is sit around and watch Gilmore Girls. One of my favorite parts of this particular season is a quote, "Jerk, ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, frat bow, low-life, butt face miscreant!" It's so funny. I really could watch it over and over again. Ugh, and I have to spend all the extra money this month. New phone plan, bike needs fixings, really nice sports bras so my boobs stay nice for you, wardrobe for my hopefully new internship. Oh baby, I love you. I can't wait to talk to you. My fingers and eyes are tired. I have to go to bed.
I love you.
Always and Forever.
Your wife.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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